This one is really good

Having a bad day?


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an *******!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!" It always cheered me up.


When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic '*******' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!"


One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . . so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* ( I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW *******, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an *******."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called ******* #1.

"Hello."

"You're an *******!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"*******, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******."

Then I called ******* #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, *******," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.

NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best.

LMAO this is great, infact OMG, this is great, ill need to put that on my site.

It looks like the forum is censoring the story.


[MOD EDIT] There is a reason that the board is censoring the post, those words are inapropriate for the mixed deomographic at this site. Please refrain from using foul language.[/MOD EDIT]

This post has been edited by wwheeler: Mar 13 2005, 04:35 PM

Eh... What happened with those 2 guys? Did they get arrested or something?

ROFLMBO, That is too funny.....


I think I am going to e-mail this out to a couple of my friends.....

Thank you so much Linneus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am posting that on a few mailing lists LOL Thanks for that story, it's too funny LOL... Ya made my day brighter.. *starts to call some dude named dad and insulting him, thinking "thank goddess for unlisted, secret numbers"*

LOL you must be bored for months! did that really really happen? its too good to be true. someone should have a video of the fight didnt they? or isit just a silly story.

might even try to do it myself. but not this far! getting two people beating each other up for something they done to you.

Yeah, did that actually happen?

I would never have the guts to call the cops and get them involved, wouldn't they trace your number and find out where ou lived?

THAT is TOO funny.
I've got to memorize this one and tell it to EVERYONE!

Thanks so much, Linneus!

OMG lol i could not stop lol after i read that lol it was to funny



Thanks for shearing i loved that lol





-Joshua