I know this is an old topic, but I realy, realy recognize myself in Shogi's story.
It's almost the same, I have practicaly no friends (ok, maybe those from my flagswingingteam, but they are 30-50 years and I'm 17 (I'm the youngest flagswinger and the others from the group where I flagswing is the same age and the youngsters are all female and between 6-13 years ).
I do have another friend, but I found out that he has blocked me from new friends during the past 4,5 years (and yes, I do know it's also my own fault), even worse, I feel like he has been lying during those 4,5 years and we're starting to grow away from each other.

At school I do feel like a leech too. There's this group I always get to, but I don't realy feel that they accept me, I just stand there, I can't actualy say a lot because they talk about things they did toghether and understand and 9/10 I haven't done anything interesting to tell.

I'm not realy a happy person, but also not depressed. During those years I evolved in a 'I-don't-realy-care' type. I realy supress my feelings, even getting angry, then I realy want to start bashing on things, but I've already learnt that I can destroy things when I do that (broken my keyboard already on 2 places ) so I just get angry, pump a lot of blood to my head, count to ten and get on trying to fix what was wrong.

I don't realy feel ugly, but I don't feel atractive. I'm a bit a skinny person and realy, I can eat, eat, but I hardly gain weigth (it's cool, candy all day). Other thing, I have fat lips, and I realy don't like them. I already learned to live with my Dracula tooth, but the downside is that I hardly smile (except on fora ).

To keep it short from now: too much computers, too shy, no friends, bad sport condition (should start training something, but I'm too lazy), forgetfull (and not a little bit, I can forget thing that were said 5 sec. ago ) and a lack of initiative . Guess that was all of my perfetic live (no, it's even more, but I'm not going to bother you guys and gals with that, because it's already boring enough too read this) <- guess this is another problem that is starting to grow

grtz, /me

P.s.: I'm realy glad with all the reply's so far. Only one thing left to say. Did 2 schools with no friends, one year to go and I'm going to another school (and I don't even know yet what I'm going to study), a new start for me, a new chance to get new friends.

dont worry, be happy!
Low Self-esteem

Just be yourself, let things go on, and you'll soon see that everything's going to turn up okay. Don't try to force yourself into becoming someone, just be yourself, and try to be relaxed at all times. Never show that you are nervous or afraid of something. Everyone will look at you in a different way, and that will give you a big boost in confidence. And, responding to some posts, girls really do boost up your self esteem!

In my case, I'm just a commun guy everywhere. I don't sit in one corner of the room alone, nor do I keep chatting with loads of friends, I simply found the group of friends that I had more in commun with, and got on with it. I�m simply normal, but I really feel that I need a girl! I'm not forcing myself to find one, I'll try to let everything go on normally, but I know that if I find a girl who I really like, my life will be so much better, and I would make that girl so happy... As for my self confidence, I think that I'm average, right at the middle. I don't hate myself, (I really like myself physically), but there are two things that really make me feel down; I just can't really talk to girls, cause I just suddenly change, and become nervous. This is where I'm getting it all wrong, and, I can't really look to some people directly in the eyes. I know I'm not shy, not at all, but I just hate eye-contact.. :'( The thing is, I know I'm alone in the world. (I have myself!), but still, I know that my friends are not real friends, but I just hang out with them cause I really have a lot in commum with them. I'm confused, cause I don't really know who's my real friends...

I suggest that you just start to know other people, have some sense of humor (which REALLY does help) and that's it. You'll soon find that you'are in a different social position. Other thing that I recommend, is to do sports. This will also give you a boost in confidence, and will make you much more interesting and still, you will always meet new people. I play squash, and I'm also used to work out in the gym. I started to do this, because I really liked that sport, and naturally, I just made up a big bunch of friends and now, I have something to do (other than playin COunter Strike)

I noticed that throught my childhood, I've been very cautios of what I really liked, enjoyed and maked me feel good. I worked on that naturally, and if you do the same, you'll see that you'll build an interesting charater, which is constantly changing, and improving itself. You know what? That character is you...

I'd also recommend to improve in what you like, and don't be afraid to show it. For example, I just love PC gaming, I can spend hours and hours by myself playing something, but still, I have a life, I'm not a nerd, and I'm not worried if I'll become one (I'm not!), but thats what I like to do, and I just don't care what other people think. Actually, my preference for sqyash, games, and computing just made me know more about myself, and now, I'm just happy to know who I am. Guess what?, my best friends are computer lovers (nowhere near nerds) and practice tennis or squash. I didn't even think about it. I just noticed that now, while I was writing this. I see a really big relation between what you like to do (your intrests), your friends and yourself.

JUST BE YOUSELF, but an improved version! :D

sry if this post is too long, but thats how it fells to be me! Might not seem so, but now, you all really know a lot about me :D A 15 year-old boy, who's looking for the perfect girl, and seeking to loose all those false friends, and to know who are the real ones...


Any thing you do, just make it better! :D


PS: I just remembered that I had a girl friend some months ago, but she left. I never liked her, she was just a girl for me and I don't think a lot about her. I know I just saw that relation with my brain, not with my heart. It was a false realtionship and actually, that didn't even change me, since I wasn't in love with her. For me, it was just a waste of time, and it's worth zero to me, just a moment in time where my hormones were jumping like hell... I just thought with my d*ck and didn't feel with my heart. (sry for the terms used)


WOW!, I just posted this 3 years later! I wonder how you changed from 2005 to the beginnig of 2008! :D

I'm glad you bumped this post, it's interesting to read how I've felt 2 year ago and to find out what changed in the past 2 years. That friend I was talking about, it's actualy one of my best friends right now! I don't see him that often because he moved for his studies (he does come back in the weekends, but he doesn't have much time due to his studies).
I do think a lot different now about him too, I tought he blocked me from finding new friends ... but in fact it's not true! It was all my fault because the same thing is happening again at my new school. I still tend to block myself out a litlle bit, eg. during breaks I don't talk to many of my fellow students .

However, I did get to know some great people during the last year at my previous school. Maybe they aren't friends like real friends (those who you can tell everything, those who you see and talk to often, ...), but they do accept my the way I am (I guess ). However, I do however feel like FeedBacker does:



I do agree that finding a girl did boost my self-confidense a lot. I knew her for 3 years and we've been together for 6 months (untill 3 days ago when we broke up , this shows that girls work in both directions ... they can make you very happy, but they can also make you feel very depressed ). She made me change, I started doing more than just working (or gaming) on my computer, I started to get feelings, I got more emotional than before ... I matured. I hope that, even tough we aren't a couple anymore and that I'm still feeling a bit depressed now, my life will continue in the positive way as it did during the past 6 months .


I still have some mental problems tough. Wherever I go, whoever I meet, I still feel like being the lowest class of human being. I'll always step aside for someone to get past me, it's like I don't care about myself, but only about the others ... I'm not important enough . I'm still a bit shy tough and I still don't like to make contact with unknown people (I even hate making phonecalls).
My lack of initiative has improved a bit, tough it's hard since most of my initiative don't have a positive ending.

This post has been edited by wutske: Jan 2 2008, 01:22 PM

dont worry, be happy
Low Self-esteem

WOW! big changes! I'm really happy that your life has changed a lot, for the positive side. Yes, I believe that that girl changed you a lot.

You seem to be so different. 'I still have some mental problems though. Wherever I go, whoever I meet, I still feel like being the lowest class of human being. I'll always step aside for someone to get past me, it's like I don't care about myself, but only about the others ...

I'm not important enough dry.Gif . I'm still a bit shy though and I still don't like to make contact with unknown people (I even hate making phonecalls).'

After what you have changed, those problems are just so small, you'll keep on changing, and in time, you won't remember that you wrote this :D

Do you know about some self-esteem tests? I am just curios.

Regards

Don't do them online, they suck .

ur not alone
Low Self-esteem

I jus want to reply back to the guy who hate him self and feels ugly, well you are not alone in this after all you know that God is with you no mater how we feel left out by parents or friends,let me tell you my story I have 3 sisters 3 brothers I was told when I was born my dad dint wanted to get my mom from the hospital beacuse he found out I am a gurl,secound of all am always compared to my aunt who ran a way from home got pragent with this guy and now devorced my dad called me a ***** infroth of my brothers and sisters when I dint even meet a guy cuz I feel ugly who will come to me when there are the other white beautiful gurls,my dad doesn not allow us to keep make up he says its for married women not even clean our face he says we want attraction from men.My mom follows watever my dad says .I am so big now an not in a university my dad says if I will go out to study all I want to do is just go meet up guys and have fun.So now am jus big gurl staying at home praying to God to change my dads mind because I want a good future for me I belive am a good person in the hearth I don't hate people only my elder sister she gets wat ever she wants she stuided university and gruadet and now she is coming back home my dad and mom cant wait to mee her ,she breaks our things and spits still gets her way she is almost thirty years old imagen that.Most of the time I cry and pray for happnes I still do till today or a way out from my family they are the people who have always told me go away you and your big mouth black skin and all that negative things a parents should not say I blame them for all this am feeling now its all because of them.

-reply by leena