Well, some input from Russian computer geeks' folklore (My loose translation), if you would not mind...

1. User is a person who steps on the rake
> 2. Dummy is a user who did not step on the rake as yet and so he is sure that there are no rakes at all.
> 3. Luser is a user who regularly steps on the rake, but who is still sure that no rakes exist.
> 4. Narrow specialist is a user who has mastered in stepping on the same rake.
> 5. Programmer is a person for whom in the process of stepping on the rake the most important thing is the result. Getting tired of stepping on somebody's rake he invents his own rake.
> 6. Advanced programmer is a programmer who steps on the same rake no more then twice.
> 7. Copyright is a concept, which limits the number of available rakes by the financial abilities of the user.
> 8. Gamer is a user for whom in stepping on the rake the most important is the process itself. As a rule the gamer cannot make the rake of his own.
> 9. Cheater is special kind of gamers, who prefers rakes with soft pads and usually does not step on the same rake more then once.
> 10. Hacker is a person who can step on the rake even if it's hidden in a shed and locked by a pad-lock.
> 11. Hacker idealist is a noble fighter for the everyone's right to step on the unlimited number of rakes.
> 12. Microsoft is a corporation, worldwide leader in manufacturing the rakes.
> 13. Bill Gates is a mythical creature from programmers' folklore. Malicious spirit who is the patron of the rakes.
> 14. Upgrade is a never-ending process of spending money on buying new rakes, each of which hurts more then previous.
> 15. Beta version is a version where rake could be seen from the first glance.
> 16. Release is a version where the rake is hidden under the leaves.
> 17. Versions compatibility is a principle, which insures that the new version of rake hits the same spot as the previous one.
> 18. Assembler is a programming language which enables stepping on the rake several millions times per second.
> 19. Local Area Network is a technology, which enables an opportunity to get hit even if somebody else has stepped on the rake.
> 20. Internet is a technology, which enables one to step on a rake even if the rake is located on the other side of the globe.
> 21. Lamer is a user, who concideres himself a very advanced user. He thinks he knows all the rakes in the world and knows how to avoid them. Usually steps on the rake even where there is no rake at all.
> 22. Multitasking is a concept which enables one to step on several rakes simalteniously.
> 23 . SysAdmin (System Administrator) is a person who gets hit when any user steps on the rake

This post has been edited by aciminsk: Feb 21 2006, 09:55 AM

Hahahah - good collection Aciminsk

Then a little bit more. Again my loose translation

System administrators' services price list
Asking a question - $10
Asking a stupid question - $20
Asking a stupid question which you could not express clearly - $30
Asking a question on the phone before reading Help - $10
Asking questions explained in User's manual - $100
Asking the same question again - $100
Request to come to your desk - $5/step
Being interrupted while working on other problem - $45/hour
If you insist on resolving your problem right now - $50/hour
If you expect that I'll explain how did I solve your problem - $60/hour
If you report a problem which I'm trying to resolve at the moment. - $70/hour
If you ask to fix a problem that was fixed yesterday. - $75/hour
Fixing you broken mouse by cleaning - $50
Fixing your broken printer by replacing the cartridge - $35
Fixing whatever is broken by using power switch to turn it on - $250

Lmfao. Just when I thought Microsoft couldn't get any worse.

A couple more jokes...
Did you ever know, that one Therapist equals to 1024 Gigapists and to 1048576 Megapists

What is the difference between a user and a programmer?
The user thinks, that there are 1000KB in 1MB.
The programmer is sure that there are 1024 m in one Km

This post has been edited by aciminsk: Feb 22 2006, 01:14 PM

LOL, I do beleive that that came from MS since I have seen other "ridiculous" memos come out of microsoft before. Also I do have to beleive that such requests should be adherd to do to the fact that respect should be a mainstay of any business enviroment.

Refering to ones customers or superiors as jackasses isn't proper, no matter how true the statement is. Just remember how would you like to call a help line and be cussed out, or as a suborninent to do a job and get cussed out. Now what you do on your own time is your business but when on company time, be curteous. There is plunty of time to swear and insult people off the clock, when your at work your being paid to do a job, you asked for the job, and there are "proper channels" to get rid of someone, yes they can be conveluted and full of red tape, but eventually you do get recognition for the work you do and those that can't...well they get moved to another position or fired.

Well thats my 2 cents. The memo was real funny but at the same time I understand where the writer is coming from...although I am sure that there could have been a much better way for them to explain the point then to use the very language that they were trying to stop...lol...hipocrits.

Microsoft is sure strict about using language in its working environment. Surpressing employees only means their going to get worse.

This is just another one of those really, funny interesting things from Microsoft we see every now and again! Its a shame that so much is "lost in translation" as the saying goes!! It is also a significant sign that microsoft is trying to make everyone run THEIR way!!

Still, besides everything said it is one of the most hellarious moves made by Microsoft. I'm sure it wont be too long before we see another one of these floating through our inbox's!!

That is 1 hilarious memo.
I'm not hindi but I do understand the slang.
U left the best ones out. ie. CHUTIYA, GANDU.
Now clue everyone in on what this 2 words translate into... j/k

Great find.

That was pretty funny! I learned so many new words to use when i'm talking with the guys who run my local wawa. Just kidding