Jokes and Humor

Hello , QUOTE Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for¿ Husband : Nothing. Wife :
Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? Husband : I was just
looking 4 the expiry date Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings
U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so. Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no Wife: You always carry my photo in your
handbag to the office. Why? Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look...

These two came to me by mail today. Have fun /wink.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)"
border="0" alt="wink.gif" /> Geek Dating Toilet Logic ...

Beer Translations 1. "You get this round and the next round is on me." I''ll be
leaving before the next round. 2. "I''ll get this round and the next one is on you." Happy
hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they''ll be $3.50. 3.
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get
your attractive friend into a compromising position. 4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel."
(female) I''m easy. 5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) I'...

Hey guys how are you doing, here are some popular excuses and others some friends told me. Enjoy!!
Math Homework 1) There wasn't enough room to write it in the margin. 2) I have a solar
calculator and it was cloudy. 3) Someone already published it, so I didn't bother to write it
up. 4) A four-dimensional dog ate it. 5) Maple Crashed. 6) I had too much pi and got sick. 7) I
could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. 8) It's stuck inside a Klein bottle. 9) I
couldn't decide whether i is the square root of -1 or i are the square root of -1. 10) It...

Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.
His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with
the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend
advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any
signs of life?" "Well," Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head arou...

Here are some blonde jokes: Two blondes were driving down the road. On both sides of the roads are
corn fields. Suddenly they see a blonde in the middle of a field in a row boat. The driver turned
to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" Then, the
other blonde says "Yeah, I know. If I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her." ---
Three blondes walk into a bar. You thikn one of them would have seen it. --- And heres one I found
on the net: QUOTE A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She ...

What say a little tomato to a old tomato? ketchup!!...

What kind of jokes do you like? (black humor, low-class jokes, short jokes, english jokes...) What
jokes are most popular in your county? In my country the most popular are about new russians or a
boy called "Petriukas"... also we have many jokes from soviet union about their animatad, historical
charecters /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />...