QUOTE (Soleq @ Dec 21 2004, 12:50 AM)
Since I rarely read long posts (including ones before my own post), I have to assume that the following has not been said. If it has, then oh well. 
The barriers are coping mechanisms. Thus, to deal with coping mechanisms, one has to face what is troubling to that specific person. If one clams up at the mention of holidays, then one must tread down memory lane back to his or her past holidays and face the experiences that make them uncomfortable. Since it's a lot easier to not say anything, the most basic solution is to just start talking. Tell what you feel, at the present. It can be so simple as "I feel sad." Then, talk about what makes you sad. It's a gradual process, and by no means does anyone expect to make a breakthrough during the first 15 minutes. As time goes by, you'll be able to express more accurately what you feel and what's making you feel that way.
The barriers are coping mechanisms. Thus, to deal with coping mechanisms, one has to face what is troubling to that specific person. If one clams up at the mention of holidays, then one must tread down memory lane back to his or her past holidays and face the experiences that make them uncomfortable. Since it's a lot easier to not say anything, the most basic solution is to just start talking. Tell what you feel, at the present. It can be so simple as "I feel sad." Then, talk about what makes you sad. It's a gradual process, and by no means does anyone expect to make a breakthrough during the first 15 minutes. As time goes by, you'll be able to express more accurately what you feel and what's making you feel that way.
I can't agree with you more, as it's often too simple to just deleare that you're feeling sad, but going into the kernel of why you're feeling sad is often more complicated, as at the first it can have more than one reason, and then does it also hurting to face the trouth, but when you had faced it then can you start to work with it.
